Saying For Today: To discover what many call "God" is to discover yourself - this I know, for it was shown to me to see and share this hopeful Word of the soul's beauty - you, us - and our innate union with Life.
'A Tractor Wears Winter' - Easton, Maine
All I had really wanted, all along, was to be taught to love this world, and now I had. Even if there were another, better world, I didn't want it.
*Henry Shukman. One Blade of Grass.
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i loved you before the words 'i love you' lived on my lips released into the air moving between us words like that can be dangerous one can feel the risk when let loose from the graves of the past resurrections, joyful, at first can appear scary ~ freed into the present, yes, such words leads to life, speaks life, caged within death leads to death how many walk about in death, the love-bird waiting to fly free, to stretch its wings and flow in open space like a prophet hurled into the air, words, as surely as "Thus says the Lord" and something becomes ~ creative act ~ Love begets Love, as Christ births Christ leaping over some unseen chasm aiming for the heart love truly true never arises but only from within to within can be so confusing does not speak our languages struggles to move past the ears to find its likeness kneeling in the Sanctum of the Heart indeed 'i love you' one would wish to hear and baffled by its echoes some action, even small, heralds its truth dear saying, "Yes, I'm here!" what is most unclear to the mind, is most clear when held within the heart and when love crucifies, for it must, being love heals, and is that not a welcome death, to live, and live among the living rather than walk among the dead loveless and longing for love, often the longing long itself dead
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I was on a full-silent retreat, my first, in Jacksonville, FL. I stayed at a Catholic retreat called Marywood, next to the Peace River. On my eighth and final full day of Silence, I again walked the path through the wood. I had walked it many times since arrival.
All week there had been no extraordinary spiritual experience. I had accepted that, though I had yearned for one - I know now not to seek remarkable spiritual experiences - but that was then - twenty years ago, and I was still a beginner in the contemplative Way. I had what can be called "mysticitis" - an inordinate glorification of and wish for mystical experiences. And I had been an avid student of mysticism for years.
Suddenly, looking upward into the sky, through an opening in the thick grove of trees, the atmosphere changed. The air seemed to be lighter, and spaciousness seemed everywhere. This sense was somewhat like the sense of burden removed from me at age nine when I had the first opening, some thirty years prior.
I heard, again, that same Voice that is not a voice. Now, I understand my mind translated the Message to fit my understanding, and the Word was as much felt deeply as anything else, like a Feeling-Word.
The clear understanding arose: "I love you unconditionally; I have never for one moment judged you." I stood basking in this Word - Love.
After a short time, it seemed time and space more completely garbed consciousness again. I went walking on. And I walked the path again, hoping to be revisited with the epiphany. The next walk had no magic as before, yet the glory of walking itself, and the beauty all around. One deep taste of this Word-of-Love was enough to lead me on, by Grace - and it still leads me on twenty years later.
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Now, I realize the Voice was – and is - the Voice of Life, and none other than the arising of my - our - True Nature - which is Love.
This tension of Spirit and Self, I accept fully, with both voices being One Voice. To discover what many call "God" is to discover yourself - this I know, for it was shown to me to see and share this hopeful Word of the soul's beauty - you, us - and our innate union with Life.
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And hope does not shame or disappoint because Love is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Breath given us.
*Christian Scripture. Epistle to the Romans 5.5.
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2021
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse. The book is a collection of poems based on mystical traditions, predominantly Christian and Sufi, with extensive notes on the poetry's teachings and imagery.
